Activity Review: Riding on a Train

Bye bye twacks!

First off I have to apologize for the long spaces of time between posts.  I've been extremely busy helping Mummy and Daddy take care of Baybay.  Even as I write this I'm a little stressed out about the backlog of "WAAAAA BAYBAY WAAAAAAAAAAAA"s and "I love you baybay"s I have to exclaim today, the accumulation of fresh diapers I need to hand to Daddy during Baybay's CONSTANT diaper changes, and the sheer number of kisses due for distribution to Baybay's forehead.  But we're all busy.  I get that.

The real point of this post is to share with all of you some BIG news.  You know those trains you see going by at random times near your favourite park?  YOU CAN RIDE ON THEM.  Yep, you read that right.  No need to constantly forlornly wave "bye bye choo choo" as the greatest piece of machinery known to toddlers speeds by.  Now you can get your Mummy and Daddy to take you and  Baybay to the nearest train station and climb up some steps and sit down on a chair inside a train.  I know, I know, that's what I thought!  But train stations really are a thing, and I can't tell you how many tons of trains are there because I can only recite up to 10, and can only actually count up to 3.

Spoiler alert: The inside of a train is a lot like the inside of a subway.  There are lots of chairs, lots of people, and tons of rules (a small sample of which include: no screaming, no running around wherever you want, no taking your shoes off and demanding to be allowed to run around wherever you want, no taking your shoes off and screaming and demanding to be allowed to run around wherever you want, etc. etc.).  The excessive number of unreasonable rules was a bit of a bummer, but knowing I was actually sitting inside a choo choo made up for it.  I got to look out the window while the world sped by, and tell Mummy and Daddy every time I saw a cawr, or a twee, or even gwass.  Delightful!

Bottom Line: WHEEE!  I'd choo choo choose to do this favourite thing every day (until I cho cho chose not to do it because I all of a sudden randomly hated it, because, toddlerhood!).

Major Life Event Review: Finding Out I'm Going to Have a Baby Brother or Sister

This bump is getting in the way of a good snuggle!

Well I'd been keeping this news under wraps for a while folks, mostly because Mama and Dada broke it to me just before my first birthday and it registered as a 1 on my Richter scale...but apparently I'm getting a baby brother or sister.

Mama and Dada have since been consistently asking me who is in Mama's tummy (my initial guess of Santa was apparently incorrect) and pointing to her growing belly to let me know that there's a baby in there.  They'd may as well tell me that it's snowing in Key West because I have no idea what to make of this news.  How does it impact me?  I mean occasionally when I'm sitting on Mama's lap for the 38th daily reading of "Snowy Day" her tummy gives me a particularly forceful shove (which I find somewhat perplexing and mildly irritating), but for the most part, life hasn't changed, and I don't expect it to.

I'm glad Mama and Dada have found another shared interest to talk about at dinner, but unless this "baby" plans on coming out of Mama's tummy to snuggle Mama and Dada and eventually play with my toys (right, and if you believe that, I should let you know that it's snowing in Key West), I'm pretty sure this is about as newsworthy as what I had for breakfast this morning (goguh, see-yah and nanana - and it was delicious).

Bottom line: WAAAAEEEEE....????  Which incidentally, Mama advises me, is the sound that babies frequently make.

Environmental Phenomenon Review: Snow

Clouds on the ground!

Ummmmm....snow?!  SNOW?!!!  Apparently I saw this stuff last winter, but to be honest I can't remember what I ate for breakfast yesterday, so at this point snow is entirely new to me.   

I recently woke up from an excellent night's sleep and was brought into Mama and Dada's room for our daily morning routine.  There was no hint as to the wonderland that had developed outside their window between bedtime and wakeup.  We went about our usual schedule of snuggles, storybooks and the good morning song, and then Mama opened the curtains.  Holy Nananas it was a new world!  Everything was covered in a white fluffy blanket!  I was desperate to leap from the window to grab all of it, smoosh all of it, taste some of it, and smoosh all of it some more!  This was sadly not possible as I have yet to figure out how to get directly from the confines of Mama and Dada's bed to their floor, never mind to the outside of their window.

Luckily for me, later that morning Mama bundled me up in the stroller for a walk through the magic.  While it was truly breathtaking, I was only able to observe the snow from a tantalizingly close-yet-all-too-far distance.  The best part was when we got back in and the stroller wheels were covered in snow.  All it took was a split second of Mama with her back turned for me to grab a handful and smoosh it.  And boy did I smoosh it...on the entranceway tiles, on my face, in my hair, on the wall...  Here's an unexpected piece of information: snow is cold water in disguise.  You might be expecting to cover everything in luxurious cloud-like fluff, but you'll end up soggy and shivering because snow instantaneously dissolves into cold water upon smooshing.  Another unexpected piece of information: under the snow covering the stroller wheels is a fine layer of dirt that has turned to mud.  Nine out of ten Mamas agree that this is great for smearing (in case you are wondering, unfortunately MY mama is the one in ten who disagrees).

Bottom Line: WHEEE!!!  Let it snow, let it snow, let it...MUD!!!!!   

Destination Review: Prince Edward Island

Perfect.  Exquisite.  Idyllic.

Mamamamama, Dadada and I just got back from our summer vacation on Prince Edward Island.  You've probably heard all sorts of bucolic tales of life on PEI and I can confirm that every single one is true.  We spent the week in a cottage by the Ocean, enjoying food like blueberries and corn off the cob.  A bunch of our family and friends came to stay in cottages right nearby, so it was non-stop fun and affection all week.  Lots of babies and kids and grown-ups available to share a laugh and a snuggle.

Obviously it would not be difficult to label this as one of the best weeks of the 54 weeks I've been around, but it did not come without its glitches.  First of all, PEI is not like home.  You can not jump in the stroller and get wherever you need to go.  You have to be strapped into a car to get most places.  Being strapped into a car is pretty much my least favourite thing ever, next to eating strawberries (gross).  You can tell it is pretty much my least favourite thing ever because I yell at you the entire time I am being forced to do it.  Full-on yell at you.  Then I cry.  Then I yell some more.  I definitely don't get tired out enough to nap.  I should, but I don't.  Hours can go by.  Hours and hours.  But I'll just keep yelling.  Serves you right for strapping me into a car. 

The second glitch is the fact that I had to sleep in a room that was not my bedroom.  If it's not my bedroom, I'm not a fan.  Even if you make it seem as much like my room as you can given the limited resources available to you at a little cottage in the middle of nowhere, you can't fool this baby.  I wasn't born yesterday.  I was born 54 weeks ago.  I've seen a lot.  I know when a room is not my bedroom (interesting fact: 99% of rooms are not my bedroom).

All that said, PEI is beautiful and warm and friendly and pretty.  There is a bustling downtown area in Charlottetown for you urbanites, and plenty of rolling hills and red sand beaches just minutes away for those of you who eschew the hustle and bustle of a city in the summer.  At this point in my life, I like everything, everywhere, so this place is pretty much right up my alley.

Bottom Line: WHEEE!!!  PEI should stand for Perfect Escape for Infant.

Activity Review: Pulling My Cat's Tail

Oh this guy...

 

Those of you who follow my blog are well aware of how much I love the cats that I live with.  Here's a little background on these fantastic roommates of mine...:  There are two of them.  One is white and one is orange and white.  They make a sound like this: "meeeowwww" (sometimes Mamamamama imitates the sound for me and her impersonation is spot on and quite enjoyable).  The cats are very funny (examples of hilarious things they do include sitting, walking, and walking then sitting).  While the white one (let's call him "Cat") is remarkably good at avoiding me at all costs, the orange and white one (let's call him "Other Cat") loves to snuggle with me and the feeling is super mutual. 

Sometimes I can get Other Cat to make a sound like this: "Raaaaooooorrrrawwww".  I've determined that this sound can be elicited through a healthy tail pull and that it means "High Fives!" because it is most often accompanied by Other Cat smacking me with his hand.  Other Cat has terrible aim, but I think if I keep up the tail pulls we can eventually improve his accuracy and get some stellar hand-to-hand high fives going.

Whenever I pull Other Cat's tail Mamamamama and/or Dadada usually look concerned and say things like "the cat doesn't like that".  Oh really?!  Well, as the British say, "Blocks!!" (did I pronounce that right?).  Other Cat and I are best buddies and I'm pretty sure my best buddy would let me know if he didn't like having his tail pulled!

Bottom Line: WHEEE!!!  You could try to tell me cats don't like having their tails pulled, but I think you'd be pulling my leg (which I would not enjoy).

Toy Review: Fake Cellphone



Oh hey guys, eavesdrop much?!

Like most Mamamamamas and Dadadas, Mamamamama and Dadada have smartphones.  They use those smartphones to take pictures of me, play music for me, have video calls with Grandma and Peepa, and CRUELLY TAUNT ME WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF UNHINDERED SCREEN SWIPING.

Every time I get close to one of their smartphones, they move it away from me.  The few times I've gotten my hands on one, and begun the glorious practice of screen swiping and icon pressing, it has been quickly whisked away and replaced with the toy pictured above.

Are you kidding me with this doodoo?!  Here's what's wrong with my "cellphone":

1. The screen is tiny and has no colour.  Also, it cannot be swiped and has no icons to press.
2. It is constantly on speakerphone mode.  Call me cautious but I don't want my private conversations broadcast willy nilly around the house.  If I want to tell the unknown voice on the other end of the line about what Slobber Bear (my favourite snuggly stuffed teddy) said about Mona the Monkey (handmade for me by my wonderful Auntie M), I certainly don't want Henrietta Hippo (another Auntie M special) to overhear.  She's sweet, but can NOT keep a secret.
3. This thing rings constantly.  There is no silent or vibrate mode.  I can't bring it anywhere.  Imagine how embarrassed I'd be if a call came through during my Rainbow Songs baby music class?!  So disruptive!
4. It's NOT A REAL PHONE.  What am I?  A newborn?!  I can tell the difference between an awesome real smartphone and a fake toy cellphone.  No matter how lovely the music it plays is or how inviting the friendly voices are, can I accidentally call one of Mamamamama's clients on it, or somehow, inexplicably, figure out how to access the App Store and randomly download an "identify this bird" App?  No.  No I can not. 

Bottom Line:  WAAAH!!!  Nice try Mamamamama and Dadada.  Nice try.

Activity Review: Pulling Everything Off of Every Shelf, Ever.

Notice I am not reaching for The Gruffalo.

Now that I've mastered crawling and pulling myself up to kneeling and standing positions, the world has become 200% bigger and better.  True story.  The best thing about a bigger and better world is that it comes with shelves (and drawers), and those shelves (and drawers) come with books, pots and pans, stuffed animals, blankets, and shoes, to name just a few.

Along with a multitude of items, I've discovered some really great facts.  Did you know:

1. Not all books come with hard thick pages?  Some come with easy-to-tear paper.  Fantastic fun.
2. Pots and pans can be banged together, AND banged against any other thing within reach, including floors and walls?!  Delightful.
3. Stuffed animals are generally light enough to throw halfway across a room? Done and done.
4. Blankets can be strewn completely around oneself such that one can become trapped in a virtual blanket prison?  Infuriating - but test it out - repeatedly, often, and unrelentingly.
5. Shoes can fit under furniture so that Mamamamama and Dadada can only find 1 when they next look for a pair in the shoe drawer?  Serious entertainment.

If you are reading this, you've probably been pulling things off of shelves for years, so I'm sure you'll agree with me that there's basically nothing better (other than waving, high fiving and stacking).

Bottom line:  WHEEE!!!  Shelving boredom since June 2014.