Book Review: The Gruffalo

Writer's interpretation of the Gruffalo monster.  Not to scale.

If Mamamamama or Dadada tries to read me the Gruffalo one more time I'm going to sickup.  Who has the patience to get through this book?!  The word-to-picture ratio is 5 thousand million to 1.  If I want to have the Gruffalo read to me I will grow up, get accepted to Oxford and major in English Literature (with a minor in Clapping to Music).  I mean seriously - I happen to know that Dadada has read War and Peace (#proudbaby) and from the sounds of it, it is about 1/10th the length of the Gruffalo.  Yes, I've cited a hashtag, a ratio, a fraction and at least one made up number in this post.  What of it?!

For those of you with a couple of years to kill, here's what you're getting yourselves into: Mouse is stalked by several ravenous animals.  Mouse scares ravenous animals into retreat with tales of scary Gruffalo monster.  Baby gets distracted by paint drying and/or falls asleep.  Story continues for hours.  Baby gets fussy.  Story continues for several more hours.  Baby loses mind and pushes book away forcefully whilst trying to escape from Mamamamama's lap.  Story continues on ad nauseum.  Baby grows up, gets married, has children, enjoys a rewarding career while maintaining a fulfilling work life balance, returns to childhood home and finds Mamamamama is only halfway through reading the Gruffalo.

Bottom line: WAAAH!!  Longest.  Book.  Ever.